“Ma’am, I am a bonded secure courier for the Midnight Runners, a subsidiary of Stellar Express, ICC. In accordance with the terms of our corporate tort coverage, I am required to inform you that, should a message recipient attempt to detain or interrogate me, or otherwise bypass my internal security systems, I will explode with a force approximately equivalent to 3,000 grains of octadetonite, with an associated gamma-range prompt radiation pulse. This is a fully automated safeguard, and one not overridable by my conscious will. I must recommend, therefore, that you permit me to be about my business.”