Trope-a-Day: We Will Have Perfect Health In The Future

We Will Have Perfect Health In The Future: Seeing as the top level of medical treatment in the advanced civilizations is to replace your body with a brand new one, fresh out of the tanks and still with that new flesh smell… played very straight.

Somewhat subverted inasmuch as regular medical technology (genetic engineering, artificial immune systems, healing vats, nanosurgeons, etc., etc.) makes it rather more efficient just to stay there and fix the current one than move for minor illnesses, but then, being able to spray a nanofluid up your nose and have your respiratory infection vanish in under an hour is close enough to perfect health for most purposes.  (This, of course, only being necessary in the case when you’ve managed to contract something genuinely new, or else failed to keep up with the service packs for your artificial immune system.)

Not So Common

Andreth Prime Allatrian-ith-Ancalyx Vallasélan, currently of Suite 141, Gildedrest, Starbridge City, Gáling (Ring Nebula), to Technical Services, Artificial Immunity Division, Riverside Eubiosis Foundation, greetings and many thanks for your prior assistance.

I have never been so sick in my life.  Well, obviously.  I’ve never been sick in my life.

And I do appreciate the difficulty of keeping up with every single type of bacterium and virus across hundreds of different garden worlds; please do not infer an opprobrious implication.  But this really is becoming absolutely the outside of enough.

It’s not the pain.  I’m a gamer.  I play war games with the algetics turned on.  This doesn’t bother me.  Except that it’s not proper pain, of course, it’s a stupid little nagging ache that doesn’t go away, even if it is easily quenched.  It’s just annoying, but it’s not the problem.  It’s the fluids.

Yes, fluids!  I have the most vile substance oozing out of my nose, of all places.  The nose which is, not to put too fine a point on it, not a fluid orifice.  It is very much a non-fluid orifice, and one not generally given to oozing anything.  I’m quite willing to admit the risk of pain and inconvenience and maybe even reinstantiation from some blasted alien disease, but this is just too disgusting to be borne.

Anyway, to cut right to the meat of the message, if I may, I sent you chaps the immunity-data dump yesterday morning, Empire time – could you give me some idea when you’ll have the service pack ready?

Thanks to Kaitlin of The Athele Series for the prompt that inspired this one.