starship names

Naming Convention

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BEING A SUMMARY OF PRODUCTION
AT STARFLIGHT SHIPYARDS, SELÉNE, CAGEWORKS TWO
FOR FIRST QUARTER, 7399

IS Lunar Loom
Custom design (orbital elevator constructor).
Worlds’ Rim Development, ICC; paid in full.

IS Alkahest of Conflict
Harbinger-class diplomatic cruiser
Galactic Arbitrations, ICC; paid in full.

IS The Sun’s Brilliance Scatters All Shadows
False Dawn-class orbital mirror tender
Sahal & Moons Orbital Light and Power, ICC; 12% advanced, mortgage on delivery.

CMS Rosy Conodont
Erlenmyer-class chemical tanker
Biolith Chemical Products, ICC; paid in full.

IS Authentic Communicative Ecstasy
Starwing-class courier, with aftermarket high-intensity communications laser (customer provision)
Private sale; paid in full.

CS Sufficiency
Apocalypse-class battleship
Imperial Navy, per construction contract 7930-02.

IS Only Hard On The Outside
Adze-class orbital construction platform
Homesteads, ICC; six-year payment plan, first due on delivery.

CMS Content Available In Your Area
Shadowcat-class blockade runner
Private sale, paid in full.

CS State Sensor-Ship
Brazen-class recon destroyer
Imperial Navy, per construction contract 7930-02.

CSS Neutrino Simulator
Peregrine-class scout
Imperial Exploratory Service, per construction contract 7930-01.

CMS Performative Optimism
Profit-class free trader
Private sale; 12% advanced, mortgage on delivery.

CSS Celeritous Sciencier
Breadboard-class space research platform, no outfitting.
Starleaper Initiative; payment on delivery.

CMS Perambulatory Debauch
Pleasurable Company-class liner
Centralia Line, ICC; 12% advanced; mortgage on delivery.

IS Seismic Dissection
Skoufer-class smeltership
Celestial Mining, ICC; paid in full.

IS Premonitions of Debris
Brutal-class cruiser
By commission for Galek’s Gutrippers; 12% advanced, mortgage on delivery.

CMS Insufficiently Hyped
Kalantha-class frontier trader
Private sale, payment on delivery.

CSS Algorithmic Beatitude
Merí-class executive yacht, without life support or internal fixtures
Transcendent commission; deliver to Qerach for final fitting-out.

CMS Peripatetic Pilgrim
Flatfoot-class short-range passenger transport
Cilmínar Orbital Charterships; 12% advanced, mortgage on delivery.

IS Bright Aphelion
Icebox-class shardcruiser
Anniax Deep Black Development, ICC; 12% advanced, mortgage on delivery.

CMS Generous Selfishness
Boxcar-class modular trader
Deliver to market.

CMS Truth and Value
Procurer-class freighter,
Deliver to market.

IS Chariot of a Lesser Sun
Sparklebug-class power freighter
Homesteads, ICC; six-year payment plan, first due on delivery.

CMS Bandwidth Advantage
Wain-class megafreighter
Unnecessaries, ICC, under standing construction contract.

When Reality Gives You Lemons…

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…burn reality’s house down, with the lemons.

Or use them for something creative. The following is an excerpt from a comment seen this morning on Reddit:

Meanwhile, here’s some phrases lifted verbatim from political internet articles from the past few months:

“Poisonous Parade”
“While the Madman Prowls”
“Age of Weaponized Falsehood”
“Smell of Treason”
“Fact-Immune Troglodyte”
“Winds of Shit”
“Tarpit of Never-Ending Pain” (dibs on this as a metal band name)
“God of Chaos”
“Leisure Cemetery”

Are you not entertained?!

My first reaction? Well, okay, that was to roll my eyes so hard that dizziness set in. But my second reaction was that I wasn’t going to need to come up with more starship names for a while. I mean, seriously:

  • CMS Poisonous Parade: Erlenmyer-class chemical tanker.
  • CS While the Madman Prowls: either a Raider-class recon destroyer, or an assault frigate used to support special operations, not sure which.
  • CS Weaponized Falsehood: Nighthawk-class cruiser, attached to the Stratarchy of Warrior Philosophy, memetic warfare section.
  • CS Smell of Treason in the Morning: another Nighthawk-class memetic warfare cruiser.
  • CS/IS Fact-Immune Troglodyte: Ironically named memetic countermeasures ship, or yellow journalist’s private transport? You decide.
  • CMS Winds of Shit: bulk organics freighter, unknown class, attached to an ecopoesis corporation.
  • CS Tarpit of Never-Ending Pain: Best. Quicksand-class. Interdictor cruiser. Ever.
  • CS God of Chaos: Zero Day-class information-warfare dreadnought.
  • CMS Leisure Cemetery: Corveé-class cryostatic labor transport.

(Obligatory shout out to @cultureshipname.)