Valuematic Vending
“Valuematic Vending Technical Services. Could I have your name, service contract reference, and planet of installation, please?”
“Certainly, I can answer a few general questions, yes.”
“Yes, our system is designed to be programmable by the customer.”
“The model 4400v nanofac is capable of assembling essentially any carbon compound, yes. Within the bounds of the usual run of carbon chemistry, anyway, as certain exotic bond types are only available in more advanced models, but I can assure you that the 4400v is fully capable of producing all commonly used plastics, fabrics, foodstuffs, pharmaceuticals –”
“You want it not to be able to produce pharmaceuticals? Sir, have you considered not entering requests for –”
“If you could supply us with a list of all the chemical structures you wish to lock out –”
“I’m afraid we don’t maintain a list of which chemical structures are psychoactive in your species, sir, but as I said, if you could provide us with such a list, I can supply you with a routine to lock out those structures through your policy server.”
“Well, if you have them configured stand-alone, you can apply the routine individually to each 4400v. Do you have physical access to each machine?”
“Ah, that may be a problem. Could I ask again who you represent, sir?”
“I’m afraid we don’t actually support that level of hierarchical control on our JITPOS systems, sir, and I regret to say that corporate policy is not to provide superuser ackles on any system to anyone other than the registered owner.”
“Sir, before I answer that, you are aware that a 4400v-series is capable of manufacturing carbon-compound synthesizers, as well as the carbon compounds themselves?”
“Oh, any source of CHON atoms should do. Most oxygen-breather – you are oxygen-breathers? – planetary atmospheres would contain everything it needed.”
“Sir? Are you still there?”
…
“Valuematic Vending Technical Services. Could I have your name, service contract reference, and planet of installation, please?”
“Yes, our model 4400v nanofac is capable of manufacturing a wide range of organic explosives and other accelerants…”