The Associated Worlds

...building civilizations with my space elves in space.

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Brane Stopped Play

Alistair Young

— 1 min read

RESPLENDENT EXPONENTIAL VECTOR - Today's particleball final between the Asymptote Automata and the Technopolis Turbines was ruled a no-score draw today, after zero minutes of play and over an hour of philosophizing.

Why, you ask?

As those who follow the beautiful game will know, the final has always been a particular target for pranksters from both sides, and from both teams and fans. In this case, it appears that inspired by the 6981 prank by the captain of the Helium Flash Speedsters of removing one spatial dimension from the field, and the 7002 attempt by fans of the Wave Manifold Moiré to double-down on this by removing two, forcing the entire match to be played in a single vertical line, parties as yet unknown removed all the spatial dimensions from the game volume of the Asymptote Arena before today's match was due to start.

After extensive debate between the teams, ontotechnologists called in from the Irreality Vault, and a number of wandering temporal mechanics who had gathered in this time period to view the event, no-one was able to devise a testable means of playing particleball in a dimensionless volume, and the game was thus ruled a draw.

Chancellor Sigaldwy of the Imperial University of Asymptote has called upon the responsible parties to declare themselves, so that they may receive the traditional honorary degree and ritual denunciations awarded to each year's successful pranksters.

- excerpted from the Vector Viewport

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