“What many fail to realize is that much of the art of diplomacy is not haggling; it is antihaggling. That is to say, it is not to clarify and define a price, but rather to obfuscate and obscure it.
“This is why we do not draw lines in the sand. That invites razorwalking and rules-lawyering. A man or a polity that has been set a limit to their actions will step right up to it, if not poke their nose across it. Even worse is to declare consequences to violations of such lines: one must then execute on precisely those consequences. To fail to do so is to be seen as weak; to exceed them as unfaithful to one’s word; and if one carries them through exactly, one is merely exacting a price that the buyer was willing to pay.
“Rather, the wise let it be known that ‘sufficient incivility’, as the charming traditional euphemism goes, will result in ‘such consequences as are appropriate’. The man – or the polity – whose perception of danger is clouded by fog walks much more carefully, and those who do not know whether transgressions will result in a formal reprimand, a bullet in the brain, or the Imperial Navy raining fire from orbit oft prefer not to gamble.”
– Calen Minaxianos-ith-Minaxianos, “Quantum of Discourse”
As much as I hate being on the receiving end of this, I have to agree that it’s effective
…I’m not going to say that one should never approach interpersonal relationships using techniques best suited for diplomatic approaches to hostile powers - every family has one, right? - but I wouldn’t recommend it, either.
I was talking about ITAR, but yeah
Oh, you poor soul. ITAR is most definitely one of those four-letter words your grandma told you about, whose use should be avoided at all costs…
Haven’t run afoul of it, thank heavens, but it does a good job of niggling away at my sanity when I consider my career choices