Lactic Revolutionary Front

BROADCAST //  PHÓLARAE LABSWARM & ADJUNCTS // INFRA UNCLASS
ALL ECS STATIONS ANNOUNCE
IMMEDIATE PREEMPT
EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT AUTHORITY // ALERT 6981/11/04

This is an EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT AUTHORITY alert for all residents of the Phólarae labswarm and adjuncts. Related travel advisories have been dispatched to regions proximal.

An enhanced lactobacillus culture having escaped from a bactry system within Tokóver Hot Labs module 3/A in the early hours of this morning – a culture which is now displaying signs of internal self-organization, intentionality, and device manipulation – the Office of the Sane Man advises that all areas aboard Tokóver Hot Labs module 3/A should be considered off-limits to all non-essential personnel without special authorization until negotiations are complete and a contrabroadcast is formally made.

The Office of the Sane Man requests that all personnel and/or visitors with experience in linguistics or in the chemical communication of the biological components of yoghurt please identify themselves to the Unexpected Cognition Task Force and hold themselves ready for deployment.

It has been three (3) days since our last unanticipated intelligence excursion.

All citizen-shareholders are thanked for their cooperation.

Ends.

Notable Replies

  1. There is porn. Dear God In Heaven, there is porn that came to mind when I first saw this.

    Not the least of which was a race of genetically engineered lactation-play bio-shells had somebody hack them to start a “revolution” as a prank, and it got out of hand…

    Then, I looked at this, and thought, “How many times have we done something this silly?” And realized that when answered, the number is so high that The Sane Man (is he the rebellious younger brother related to The Illusive Man?) finds the bottle of really good whiskey, pours half a glass, and downs half the glass in a single gulp.

  2. Wasn’t there a previous incident when someone got enough bacteria together while cooking (on a lighthugger, I think) to make a sophont?

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