“Seriously”

Overheard at the Classified Item Destruction Facility, Palaxias (Imperial Core):

“I’m telling you, they’re just not taking our job seriously. Look at this thing – it’s a Sera Esklav, for the love of — It makes hot drinks! How is that ‘containing information prejudicial to Imperial security, access codes to secure command systems, or inherently dangerous components’? It’s a complete waste of our resources, unless they’re using orbital grasers to warm mugs these days –“

“It was sent to us from Pyrethrin Nebula. Admiral Sargas’s flagship?”

“Then what blistering cretin let it be sent downside? Close the blast doors! Enact full artifact-grade containment protocols, and get a UXB team in here, stat!”

Trope-a-Day: The Dreaded

The Dreaded: Various in history, but most prominent in recent years is Admiral Caliéne Sargas “the Worldburner, for actually pulling the trigger on the Worlds’ single use of a strangelet bomb in the Burning of Litash, and the ensuing multi-megadeaths.  (Somewhat unfairly, since the Stellar Council and the Lords of Admiralty actually made the call to proceed with the destruction of Litash, but…)  She dislikes her reputation with the same minor blind spot that most of the Sargas have, but acknowledges that it’s actually rather useful to have.

(Or, on occasion, rather annoying to have because no-one will bloody stay and fight any more.  Frustrating!)

Do Not Ask About The Dactyls

“Was that trochaic heptameter?  It sounded like heptameter…”

“I think so, yes.”

“I don’t believe – what difference does it make what -?”

“When you’ve known the Admiral for as long as we have, Excellency, you can predict her state of, ah, irritation quite well from her speech habits.  When she starts speaking in iambic pentameter, for example, you can be pretty sure that someone’s going to die today.”

“And what would this trochaic heptameter be supposed to mean?”

Everyone’s going to die today.”