Armor Beast

On occasion, I have spoken of the raztark (lit. "armor beast") of Paltraeth. It's something you might find vaguely familiar, as in Earth terms it's what you would call an ankylosaurid¹. It's one of the planet's most successful surviving herbivores - a living tank 30' from nose to thagomizer and 12' tall at the hump. These thick-skinned quadrupeds are literally armored in metallized osteoderms, similar to the "shield" of the kaeth, from claws to eyelid. Almost none of Paltraeth's native - and even ancient, pre-Fistfall - predators can penetrate such an effective defense.

And that's before we get to the thagomizer.

Want to see one? Because this is a picture post.

The cuddliest boy imaginable.

They vary a fair bit in color depending on the metallicity of their grazing sites (although all of Paltraeth is rich in metals; and rather, as a non-selective browser and opportunistic frugivore, on the metallicity of the plants there). Social herbivores, they live in herds divided internally into small family units, and share the task of raising the young. They're by no means fast (unless charging and given a decent amount of room to accelerate) - they do, after all, weigh between four and eight tons each - but they are relentless.

And, of course, they have a large spiky metallic thagomizer at the tip of their tail. You won't believe that a six-ton animal can execute a swift, balletic twirl to deliver maximum impact with such a thing, at least not until your entire body and any vehicle you may have been traveling in has been reduced to a smear across the landscape. You won't believe it after that, either, but at least then it won't be your fault.

Naturally the kaeth thought they made adorable family pets, draft animals, and cavalry.

Armed and caparisoned for war, and yet somehow... still adorable.

Obviously.

I mean, they can charge right over you, smash your brains in with a thagomizer of doom, carry a traditional kaeth rifle (by which, yes, they mean that goddamn cannon you can see in the picture; what you're looking at is actually a kaeth-scale Ferguson rifle on a swivel mount) and the kaeth to use it, along with his very favorite war hammer, and look good doing it.

It was inevitable.

They still field raztark cavalry in the modern day, in fact. Because, let's face it, however fancy your own kit is, if you see this sweetie coming right at you with mayhem in mind...

HULK SMASH

...you rout.


  1. Because ankylosaurs are, Doylistically speaking, awesome.

Images produced by collaboration with Microsoft Copilot.

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