Cultural Crossovers #21: Captain Marvel

As before.

• Someone with blue blood? Finally! How natural!
• The Kree homeworld, eh? Thought they were blue-skinned, too.
• Well, that’s an interesting approach to warrior philosophy.
• Oh, that kind of Supreme Intelligence.
• Ah, shapeshifting infiltrators.
• We do have to wonder about what is going on with the Skrulls, given that what we know so far about the Kree suggests that they are kinda dicks.
• Empowering implant, or restraining bolt?
• So, some of them are blue-skinned. Hm. Eumelanin-deficient subspecies. Seems oddly familiar.
• Impressive shapeshifting. Terrible authentication codes.
• See what I mean? Terrible authentication codes.
• …wait, you’re a Terran?
• No, the audience is at least as confused.
• Interesting form of memory extraction.
• Yeah, that’s pretty much the first thing they teach you to watch in espatier school.
• Although they really should cover how not to make re-entry, too. That said, it takes one hell of a personal force-field not to have left a rather bigger crater than that.
• Well, your night report is gonna be interesting.
• Nice technical education, too.
• Well, hello, young-looking Coulson and primordial Fury.
• I love a subtle undercover mission.
• Wait, so did you go back to not acronymizing yourselves at some point?
• “Not on the periodic table?” Seriously?
• Someone’s memory blocking techniques need work. See, this is why you don’t use that as a substitute for memory erasure, and preferably filling in the gaps.
• Are you wondering yet where your stock of Terran lore comes from? I presume they didn’t cover that in Kree school?
• You’re gonna have a very confusing family.
• Aw, they’re bonding.
• Nice kitty. Nice, not at all suspicious, kitty.
• So, a Kree researcher building something on Earth. I wonder what the Kree is for “stone knives and bearskins”.
• Oh, my. Now that’s an interesting picture, isn’t it?
• See, cold, rational judgment at this point would also conclude that that guy’s lying like a weasel.
• Always that good, huh, Coulson.
• Ah, Ronan. Just popping in to remind us of the dick factor.
• Always good to have a memory cascade in a box lying around.
• With just a little deception, then.
• That was actually an astonishingly nice landing.
• Oh, of course it is. Who else would it be?
• Wait. All you need to do to get your ridiculous quantities of mojo is blow up a drive core near yourself? Shit, we’d be blowing them up every week. (Insert chorus of “That’s Not How Any Of This Works.”)
• Yeah, that sounds like the Accusers. Based on the example we’ve seen, anyway.
• Kid, we like you. You’ve got a good future.
• Ah, yes, the curse of the shapeshifter. Taking requests.
• Always secure your cat before leaving the atmosphere.
• Hello, spaceship. Miracle you didn’t run into anything up there.
• Oh, that explains it. It’s that “core”… wait, is that where that’s supposed to be right now? Guess Howard Stark was behind that project at some level?
• Awww.
• That’s a cute name for brainwashing.
• Hard to fight inside someone else’s virtuality.
• Now that, on the other hand…
• …especially since that is a restraining bolt…
• …and the “Supreme Intelligence” appears to lack quite a lot by way of actual supremacy.
• Well, that’s one way to encase an Infinity Stone. Damn lucky you didn’t accidentally a flerken’ god, though.
• Yes, very good kitty.
• Not so good kitty. Unless…
• …damn, he’s good at that.
• Nice flying!
• Who needs a plane when you have incredible cosmic power, right?
• Also: evidently the (yellow) mind stone in the scepter empowers people with blue-themed mojo, while the (blue) space stone empowers people with yellow-themed mojo. Does that seem right to you?
• They’re not ballistic warheads if they have engines, guys. Sorry, but no.
• And they’re severely outmatched. May I suggest the tactical maneuver known as Running The Fuck Away While You Still Have Ships Left?
• “Or not.”
• And that would be why Fury never tells the eye story.
• So, one reversed-order pager incluing.
• Ah, yes, the so-briefly “Protector Initiative”. Ha!
• …meanwhile, back in the aftermath, and y’all really should have seen her coming.