“So you’ve been attacked in the Free Zone…
“…you had a security provider, right? At least I hope you had a security provider, given the giant ‘THE RIM FREE ZONE TRAVEL FACILITATORS’ ASSOCIATION RECOMMENDS THAT YOU GET A SECURITY PROVIDER’ banner hanging in the starport with maybe a thousand different security provider advertisements stacked fog-thick around it in the augmentality.
“But maybe you didn’t take that advice. Or wanted to save money. Or plain didn’t have the money, or the rep, or anything else worth exchange-value.
“And no-one was around at the time? ‘Cause, I mean, not having a security provider doesn’t mean that no-one’s watching your back – it just means that no-one’s being paid to officially watch your back for you, and what you mostly have to watch out for are con artists and other relatively subtle kinds of fraud. (Well, maybe not that subtle, if you played the shell game with that dude who hangs around by the startown maglev.) But we all believe in non-aggression here on Hopamar, and if someone tried to attack you on the main drag, half the people around’d shoot him on general principles, and the other half’d shoot him for what the judge’d award them once she got done stripping the assets off his bones.
“But maybe some kveth-licker fresh off a ship from the Yaffish Marches got to you in an alley when no-one was around, took your terminal and foldcase away from you, and stabbed you cleanly in the left kidney.
“That’s when you call us.
Triple-G Eleemosynary Redistributionists, Inc.
“We make crime not pay.”
“For now, though… do you consent to emergency medical treatment and agree that payment for it can be added to your legal claim against your assailant?”
– a Triple-G advertisement-drone, to a prospective customer
Might have been a better idea to lead with some variant of the last sentence.
Make sure your potential customer doesn’t bleed to death before they’ve heard the full spiel.
Personally, I think the rule of funny wins out, here. Especially with the infomercial-to-solicitous-paramedic tone change I read it as having.
The ad-drone’s got decent medical sensors, and pain’s a great sales tool.
Long as you didn’t cause it, anyway. That’s be unethical.