Empire Tips: December 2022

For those who can’t follow @empiretips@social.arkane-systems.net on Mastodon, or who prefer their helpful space elf life advice in larger lumps, here’s this month’s monthly digest post.


Imperial lifestyle tip:

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you’ll be alive.


Saravóné integrity tip:

Even if? Let justice be done especially if the heavens fall. Any heaven built on corruption is no true heaven.


Imperial civics tip:

If you would have a better world, pick up a hammer.


Kanáralath debate tip:

A sword is not an argument.


Cordelia Vintar-ith-Vidutar exploration tip:

When you detect a new civilization, call down and introduce yourself. No-one likes a creeper.


dar-bandal ethics tip:

A pup’s ball is the pup’s; a pup’s teeth are the pack’s.


Istar Sargas resource-management tip:

A dagger in the night is worth sur-dodeciad swords at dawn.


Ianthe Claves technepraxic tip:

The problems of knowledge will not be solved by ignorance.


Bertil Rúädha business tip:

To better compete, cooperate; to better cooperate, compete.


Alphas Amanyr management tip:

Trust your people. If you need to stand over them or bind their hands with rules, you shouldn’t have appointed them in the first place.


Galatia Allatrian social tip:

Courtesy is a man’s obligation; friendship, his gift.


Jynne Cerron safety tip:

Where arms may not be borne, there it is well to bear arms.


Valentia Amanyr lifestyle tip:

To be honored, behave with honor. To be respected, be respectable. To earn credit, pay your debts. This is the thing and the whole of the thing.


Lauré Muetry-ith-Mirari aesthetics tip:

The purpose of art is to uplift, inspire, and enlighten. Never subvert. Only supervert.


Olbria Amanyr character tip:

Noble blood is born from ancestry; noble souls are born from right action.


Fellowship of Natural Philosophy research tip:

Knowledge is its own justification.


Octíëve Súrnedal networking tip:

It’s always the Endpoint Location Protocol. Even when it isn’t. Even when it can’t possibly be. It’s ELP.


Lyris Belacquan transparency tip:

Dark deeds flourish in darkness; what cannot be done in the light ought not be done at all.


Traest Sargas tactical tip:

Treasure an enemy who seeks to die in the service of his cause; for you and he have the same objective.


Olbria Amanyr leadership tip:

If authority must be exerted by force, it is already lost.


Esseldár progress tip:

The old ways are best, except when the new way is better.


Cinníäs lifestyle tip:

No intemperance is greater than lack.


Eight Bloody Sages exploration tip:

Don’t fear the unknown. Make sure the unknown fears you.


Galatia Allatrian Darkest Night tip:

A gift is an appreciation of the recipient’s worth. Appraise your people highly today.


Valentia Amanyr ethics tip:

Where the law fails, honor must make good.


Alphas Amanyr career tip:

Pride is not a weakness. Ambition is not a failing. The stars are yours if you have but the will to grasp them.


Alwyn Muetry theology tip:

A god is a verb; an idea potent enough to reshape the world simply by existing.

Behold the faces of the gods that you refuse to name.


dar-bandal self-defense tip:

Tear at the throat, and be done.


Cordelia Vintar-ith-Vidutar exploration tip:

Death is not the next great adventure, nor is it an undiscovered country. Rather, it is the end to all possibility of adventures and discoveries.

Don’t go in without backup. Or until you’ve made a backup.


Xian Anandonos-ith-Anaxios strategy tip:

The ignorant fight to win; the enlightened win before they fight.


(And if you have forgotten, the quick guide to who all these folks are is found here.)

Going Viral

Memeweave: Threats and Other Dangers/Microbiologics/Other/Open Access
Classification: WHITE (General Access)
Encryption: None
Distribution: Everywhere (Bulk)
As received at: SystemArchiveHub-00 at Víëlle (Imperial Core)
Language: Eldraeic->Universal Syntax
From: 
Interstellar Immunity (Trailing Central Division)

This is a CASE CHYLE declaration for the Hope Nebula, Lisune Pass, and Sullen Wildlands constellations.

Gentlesophs,

To recap, this division dispatched a task group of hospital ships to several worlds in the Hope Nebula, Lisune Pass, and Sullen Wildlands constellations in response to a number of requests for assistance stemming from an epidemic outbreak of a non-specific microbial infection provisionally typed as Xhelageneae paracoccus aminophilus.

Reports received from our senior medical staff aboard IS Bradycardia, flagship of the task group, indicate that the infection shows the distinctive markers of genetic engineering. It is not a registered engineered organism or based on known industrial prototypes. However, it is the product of a relatively advanced biotechnology.

Note that we do not believe that this modified Paracoccus is intended as a bioweapon or ecoweapon; its symptoms are merely those of a mild pneumonic infection (although infection is systemic), accompanied by severe loss of energy.

However, it is notable that the Paracoccus possesses a lengthy strand of purely non-coding genetic information in addition to the functional plasmid, a strand which is notable for undergoing substantial directed mutation (accompanied by high restriction enzyme and ligase activity) in the period between replications. We have concluded that this strand represents the working data for a DNA-based computer; informatic study of this strand’s sequence suggests that it is a digital representation of encrypted data.

While full analysis and simulation studies are yet to be completed, we believe that this anomalous Paracoccus strain represents an attempt to use an epidemic disease as a massively parallel processing system for cryptographic purposes.

It will of course be necessary for the designers of this disease to collect the output data when the underlying process has run its course. Since the processing is stochastic, our current model assumes that it will be necessary for successful bacteria to engage in rapid replication (possibly accompanied by enhanced virulence) and generation of a unique protein marker – possibly an artificial symptom – likely to appear in the medical literature to enable recovery of a sample containing the successful bacterium’s sub-strain. These may in themselves constitute a hazard to private and public health.

As such, we recommend that all medical facilities within the Hope Nebula, Lisune Pass, and Sullen Wildlands constellations contact their Interstellar Immunity representative with details of any unusual symptomology or unique protein markers appearing in patients admitted with X. paracoccus aminophilus infection; and that all the above medical facilities perform security reviews of all staff in a position to obtain, purloin, or analyze fluid or tissue samples from any such patient.

(While this last is not within our ongoing medical remit, we strongly urge all intelligence and security authorities to cooperation in this in the strongest possible terms. We ourselves will be communicating all relevant data current and future to the Biologics TAG, to Imperial ExSec, and to the medical and security attachés of every Conclave delegation.)

Further information will be made available as it is confirmed.

For the Foundation,

Dr. AATAACAGGAGA, DM, ExB, ExMB, FICS.

Filk: Beyond the Stars and Far Away

(ttto: O’er the Hills and Far Away)

The generals ask if we will go
To test our strength against the foe
And make the host barbarian pay
Beyond the stars and far away

Chorus
Beyond the stars and worlds away
In Fringe, in March, or off in Ley
The throne commands and we obey
Beyond the stars and far away.

When duty calls us we must go
For sentinels ’tis ever so
A legion life the coin we pay
Beyond the stars and far away

(Chorus)

So to the transport we shall come
Our eagles burnished as the sun
She lifts, and we are on our way
Beyond the stars and far away

(Chorus)

Then we shall fight with beam and shell
Until the field resembles Hell
But for the Empress we shall stay
Beyond the stars and far away

(Chorus)

When Darkness lies upon the land
We will not hold or stay our hand
But fight to bring the break of day
Beyond the stars and far away

(Chorus)

If we should fall on foreign shore
As legion brothers have before
Then drink, and let the trumpets bray
Beyond the stars and far away

(Chorus)

But courage, lads, that’s not today
While conquering colors we display
We’ll live to fight another day
Beyond the stars and far away

(Chorus)

– legionary marching song

Advice From Elsewhere

A quick meta-post for those who haven’t already learned this elsewhere –

Inspired by (but not affiliated with in any way) the Twitter account @PicardTips by way of a reader suggestion, helpful life advice from a variety of colorful, mostly-Imperial characters from the Associated Worlds is now available in the Fediverse / on Mastodon by following:

@EmpireTips@social.arkane-systems.net

For those of you who don’t have Mastodon, you can always read them directly off that account’s profile here, or add the RSS feed to your reader here. Also, while very short at the moment, a guide to the characters offering individual bits of advice can be found here.

(And remember: if you take advice from anyone named Sargas, you know what you did.)