While that would probably make a decent story title, sad to say, this isn’t one.
As you may have noticed, my output has been down in recent months, and really down this last month in particular.
Why, you ask? Well, because so am I. Which is to say, in despite of medication, my depression is kicking my ass right now. On some days, to the ol’ “been staring at nothing for six hours trying to find motivation to do anything useful” degree. This is, as I hope you can appreciate, somewhat problematic where writing is concerned, inasmuch as my muse appears to have declared this Altogether Too Much Trouble To Deal With and buggered off until the local climate improves.
Why, then, you also ask, am I whining about it to you?
Well, for my loyal Patreon and Liberapay patrons, so you can be aware that this is the situation, that I don’t know when it’s going to improve, and that you may wish to, and should feel entirely free to, suspend or cancel your payments. After all, the deal is money in exchange for value, and since I can’t provide the value right now, I do not wish to take your money. Not until I get my mojo back, anyway.
For the rest of you, because I can. Suck it up.
Welcome to the time of suckage.
Going to be yelling at my new medical provider on Tuesday, because MONDAY will the be last day I have for my (previous) company’s medical care and I have two prescriptions that will run out in early-to-mid October that make me reasonably happy and livable (ADD and sleep meds). I can’t get my psychiatrist to give me a script now because the meds are Schedule ones and she can’t give me a script earlier than 30 days out.
Oh, and the previous company thing? Last Thursday, the company formally let all but the salary employees go (they aren’t expecting business to come back until 2022 at the earliest, and they were one of the big three companies in our field). Been on furlough since March. Have to be careful about taking any jobs out there now because I live with people that have a number of Crow Flu danger signs (age, one family member has a single lobe lung transplant, another is a pack-a-day smoker and I’m not allowed to use a squirt gun on them when I catch them smoking).
Here’s the thing. I’m not in bad shape, from an external, hypothetical perspective. I am in no immediate danger of losing housing, food, or health care. I have savings-enough to pay for my bills when unemployment runs out at the end of the year for a short period of time. Barring unforeseen disasters and not keeping up on preventive maintenance, I am in no immediate danger.
So, in a long and rambling sort of way, I would rather drop the $5 in your cup, as I am not in a place where I am in danger.
Don’t ask me about how 2021 is going to come out. Hell, we’re only three days away from Skynet starting Judgement Day, so this might all be a wash.
Continue the discussion at eldraeverse.discourse.group