Contracervisial

SECURE STORAGE CATALOG RECORD 23-0-119674
FACILITY 23 / LEVEL E / CELL 1138 / NICHE 4-11
BLACK UNCLASS
HAZARD RATING: NEGLIGIBLE

DESIGNATION: The Antibeer

HANDLING PROCEDURES: No physical (baryonic matter) contact beyond border of magnetic bottle. Ensure radiation shielding remains in place except when work with this item is in progress to prevent scintillation effects. Maintain electrical power supply to containment at all times; in event of power failure exceeding two (2) hours in length, execute special disposal protocol CT-14. Not for cismaterial consumption.

DESCRIPTION: A synthetic fermented drink, the Antibeer is the product of a somewhat ill-advised wager made during an afterparty following the sixth day of the 147th Conference on Particle Physics Applications. After a heated and liquor-enhanced argument over the merits of Academician Perna Medanis-ith-Medanis’s proposed method for the production of stable higher-order anti-atoms and their orderly combination into anti-molecules, a challenge was offered and accepted, and the participants in the aforementioned argument procured the use of the host institution’s particle physics laboratories.

The end result of this was a small quantity (approximately 125 ml) of liquid antimatter composed primarily of antiwater and antiethanol, packaged in a modified commercial magnetic bottle with a handwritten label attached, designating it “The Antibeer”.

The Antibeer itself was voluntarily surrendered for secure containment, on the proviso that it be returned to its developers for testing when and if, in the future, an antidrinker should exist capable of consuming it.

Notable Replies

  1. Avatar for avatar avatar says:

    The latter is what they do when they’re sober.

  2. Avatar for avatar avatar says:

    i.e. All you have to do to contain it is leave on its shelf and plugged in, and it will happily sit their indefinitely.

    It’s not like it’s even corrosive to its containment, much less actively trying to escape and possessed of means to do so which one might consider unnatural, unlike some of the stuff sitting around in Secure Storage Facilities.

    By the same standard, essentially every weapons system humanity has ever invented (except for some of the more violent chemical and biological weapons) would be classed as “Hazard Rating: Negligible”, because they need wielders; they don’t actively go out own their own to wreck shit.

  3. Avatar for avatar avatar says:

    That one’s reserved for Klein Ale (shipped, yes, in Klein bottles), where the ethanol’s been given a twist towards the ana-kata axis. The results after consumption when the twist untwists and transfers itself to the drinker are generally quite amusing.

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