Month: September 2024

Emissary, Speak Not

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“What many fail to realize is that much of the art of diplomacy is not haggling; it is antihaggling. That is to say, it is not to clarify and define a price, but rather to obfuscate and obscure it.

“This is why we do not draw lines in the sand. That invites razorwalking and rules-lawyering. A man or a polity that has been set a limit to their actions will step right up to it, if not poke their nose across it. Even worse is to declare consequences to violations of such lines: one must then execute on precisely those consequences. To fail to do so is to be seen as weak; to exceed them as unfaithful to one’s word; and if one carries them through exactly, one is merely exacting a price that the buyer was willing to pay.

“Rather, the wise let it be known that ‘sufficient incivility’, as the charming traditional euphemism goes, will result in ‘such consequences as are appropriate’. The man – or the polity – whose perception of danger is clouded by fog walks much more carefully, and those who do not know whether transgressions will result in a formal reprimand, a bullet in the brain, or the Imperial Navy raining fire from orbit oft prefer not to gamble.”

– Calen Minaxianos-ith-Minaxianos, “Quantum of Discourse”

Alas, Probably Not In Python

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intagliated particle: An intagliated particle is a subatomic particle which contains more metadata than the universe-defined natural parameter set (position, momentum, mass, charge, spin, color, etc.). Such metadata can be strictly passive; can interact with other entities via the mechanisms of natural or artificial laws; or can be internally active. While simple intagliation can be carried out using a peeker-poker or particle graver, this last state is typically achieved by “infecting” the particle with a species of active femtotechnology.

For example, muon stabilization is achieved by a primitive femtomachine which attaches itself to the muon. In the most simplistic and metaphorical terms imaginable – and my editor has assured me, gentle reader, that he stands ready to intercept the letters from outraged physicists that will no doubt ensue – this femtomachine executes a script which is triggered when the muon enters a pre-decay state, and “reboots” the muon back to its initial parameters.

– sidebar, A Young Engineer’s First Book of Ontophysics

Noising The Signal

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The problem of military intelligence being given away by social networking is a very old one. Directly useful OSINT (i.e., extranet social postings directly translatable to location) has become a rarity among contemporary military forces, due to greater technical capabilities and COMSEC discipline; however, negative social OSINT is still an issue. When extranet social postings from military-affiliated or -contracted individuals cease due to COMSEC, it is possible to infer that this is due to a forward deployment, and for a competent MILINT analyst to deduce from this such information as units deployed, specializations involved, possible deployment locations, etc., etc.

To address this issue, the Fifth Lord of the Admiralty created NATTER SPATTER.

Under the aegis of OPERATION NATTER SPATTER, the Stratarchy of Data Warfare maintains a team of AI forgers which monitor the extranet social postings of Imperial Military Service personnel and contractees, learn how to precisely model and imitate them, and are prepared to step in at a moment’s notice when COMSEC takes effect with a consistent stream of forged data – memeweave postings, imagery, slinky recordings, and even exomemories – indirected in such a manner as to be indistinguishable from the genuine article, and demonstrating a continued civilian life. A stochastic social event generator seasons the basic event stream with sufficient nonrepresentative variation to prevent NATTER SPATTER content from being identified by excessively consistent mundanity.

While NATTER SPATTER postings will not, naturally, survive a full consistency check against the complete event record, public and private, such a full consistency check is beyond the capacity of many intelligence agencies and serves, in other cases, to drive the cost of obtaining this type of OSINT higher in terms of computation and time than can be justified.

– SDW: Ongoing Operations Summary (IMS ONLY: NOFORN)

On The Problem of Technobabble and Ontotechnology

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(An In-Character Meta Explanation)

“This metal is unaffected by entropy over time? How does that work?”

“We taught the atoms to sing time-refusal.”

“Oh, come on. That’s not… what does that even mean?”

“You see those thirty fat volumes of technomagical equations to make the sanest man go mad?”

“…atoms that sing time-refusal. Got it.”

Scientists Behaving Badly

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From: Kóris Marukanin (Director of Surreal Research)
To: Irreality Vault (All Staff)
Subject: Inappropriate usage of cystal universes
Priority: Immediate
Security: IRREALITY INTERNAL SURREAL

I should like to begin by once again congratulating Reizei Chíra’s team on their successful creation of a syntropic cystal universe. While further experimentation has demonstrated the necessity for a great deal of additional work to combine syntropy with time’s arrow moving in its customary direction, the magnitude of this achievement cannot be overstated.

However, I must also take a moment to remind all staff that while the construction and maintenance of cystal universes is an innately expensive business, those of a syntropic cystal universe is even more so. If the work of our infrastructure department has escaped your notice thus far, please be advised that the routine operation of the Vault consumes quantities of antimatter perhaps best expressed in terms of moonlets.

This being the case, please cease forthwith and do not resume the practice of using experimental syntropic universes, of any volume, as a means to repair broken items. This is literally multiple orders of magnitude more costly, in terms both economic and cosmic, than the most ostentatious normal repair process imaginable.

I am a reasonable sophont. I will consider applications for syntropic repair of unique and irreplaceable historical artifacts or one-of-a-kind Precursor archaeology. I will even see if it is possible to work damaged items of great sentimental value to their possessors and which wouldn’t survive normal repair processes into the existing experimental schedule.

But even if it was your favorite esklav mug that you knocked off the console, and you know who you are, put down the irreality engine and just take it into town.

Kóris Marukanin
Director of Surreal Research

Eldraeic Modifier of the Day: boz

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In formal Eldraeic, the modifier boz indicates that a word is being used in a vernacular (possibly referring to a local dialect or borrowing, although most commonly indicating a way the word has come to be used in Trade) fashion, rather than in accordance with its proper definition. The modifier boz is derived from the word bosh (“a mush or porridge; a soft, wet, pulpy mass”). This is in no way, gentle reader, a commentary on the Conclave of Linguistics and Ontology’s perceptions of the sort of mentality that resorts to vernacular to express itself, and if you believe any part of that sentence, please contact me for an exciting investment opportunity in the Three-Ended Wormhole Corporation.

– “Wordplayer’s Corner”, the Imperial Infoclast

Written on the Exchange Walls

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Perhaps due to their unusually wide variability across a large number of trait-clines, the variety of ciseflish trade cants have no word cognate to race. When one is needed, they borrow the Eldraeic word kaelídárath, which is technically defined as “true-breeding phenotypically-distinct group taxonomically junior to subspecies”¹ and whose original roots mean “a group of people aesthetic in definition”. That neither of these definitions accurately reflects current usage of the word in Trade vernacular is perhaps a sad reflection upon the current state of galactic education.

Nor, consequently, do they have any word cognate to racism. Their closest equivalent is also an Eldraeic borrowing, which universally adds to the preextant -ehch “dishonorable” suffix the cant prefix for “fundamentally unprofitable”, placing it among the small and unusual category of double-condemnatories.

(This, of course, should not be taken to imply that the ciseflish are incapable of empathizing with racism in other species; merely of sympathizing with it. Ciseflish merchants can and will empathize with exotic racism for precisely the time and to precisely the degree necessary to wring the maximal profit from it, then go back aboard and laugh about the pathetic morons they just exploited. Not to do so, of course, would be inefficient, inopportunistic, and not at all in accord with the tenets of the Path of Ever-Growing Plenitude.)

– Words of the Profits: Implications of Ciseflish Trade Cants,
Mirú Altúráldé & Toru min Forill,
Imperial University of Almeä

  1. That this same word is also the cognate to breed (of animal) in relevant translation matrices is something that has offended a remarkable number of cultures, not relieved by the official statement of the Conclave of Linguistics and Ontology merely being an assertion of self-equivalency².
  2. “It is what it is. Necessarily.”