bacteria

Going Viral

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Memeweave: Threats and Other Dangers/Microbiologics/Other/Open Access
Classification: WHITE (General Access)
Encryption: None
Distribution: Everywhere (Bulk)
As received at: SystemArchiveHub-00 at Víëlle (Imperial Core)
Language: Eldraeic->Universal Syntax
From: Interstellar Immunity (Trailing Central Division)

This is a CASE CHYLE declaration for the Hope Nebula, Lisune Pass, and Sullen Wildlands constellations.

Gentlesophs,

To recap, this division dispatched a task group of hospital ships to several worlds in the Hope Nebula, Lisune Pass, and Sullen Wildlands constellations in response to a number of requests for assistance stemming from an epidemic outbreak of a non-specific microbial infection provisionally typed as Xhelageneae paracoccus aminophilus.

Reports received from our senior medical staff aboard IS Bradycardia, flagship of the task group, indicate that the infection shows the distinctive markers of genetic engineering. It is not a registered engineered organism or based on known industrial prototypes. However, it is the product of a relatively advanced biotechnology.

Note that we do not believe that this modified Paracoccus is intended as a bioweapon or ecoweapon; its symptoms are merely those of a mild pneumonic infection (although infection is systemic), accompanied by severe loss of energy.

However, it is notable that the Paracoccus possesses a lengthy strand of purely non-coding genetic information in addition to the functional plasmid, a strand which is notable for undergoing substantial directed mutation (accompanied by high restriction enzyme and ligase activity) in the period between replications. We have concluded that this strand represents the working data for a DNA-based computer; informatic study of this strand’s sequence suggests that it is a digital representation of encrypted data.

While full analysis and simulation studies are yet to be completed, we believe that this anomalous Paracoccus strain represents an attempt to use an epidemic disease as a massively parallel processing system for cryptographic purposes.

It will of course be necessary for the designers of this disease to collect the output data when the underlying process has run its course. Since the processing is stochastic, our current model assumes that it will be necessary for successful bacteria to engage in rapid replication (possibly accompanied by enhanced virulence) and generation of a unique protein marker – possibly an artificial symptom – likely to appear in the medical literature to enable recovery of a sample containing the successful bacterium’s sub-strain. These may in themselves constitute a hazard to private and public health.

As such, we recommend that all medical facilities within the Hope Nebula, Lisune Pass, and Sullen Wildlands constellations contact their Interstellar Immunity representative with details of any unusual symptomology or unique protein markers appearing in patients admitted with X. paracoccus aminophilus infection; and that all the above medical facilities perform security reviews of all staff in a position to obtain, purloin, or analyze fluid or tissue samples from any such patient.

(While this last is not within our ongoing medical remit, we strongly urge all intelligence and security authorities to cooperation in this in the strongest possible terms. We ourselves will be communicating all relevant data current and future to the Biologics TAG, to Imperial ExSec, and to the medical and security attachés of every Conclave delegation.)

Further information will be made available as it is confirmed.

For the Foundation,

Dr. AATAACAGGAGA, DM, ExB, ExMB, FICS.

Letters from Deep Space

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(As it happens, my lovely editor and lovelier wife, Amy, has been looking to try her hand at this writing gig, and so please give a big hand to the first piece of Eldraeverse canon not written – my hand was limited to a one-line prompt – by me!)

Dear Mom:

It’s been a weird month here. I got kitchen duty AGAIN (you’d think after the first time when no one would touch my Fantastic Fungus Fricassee they’d’ve taken me off that rotation, but nope), and I thought I’d redeem myself with a grand surprise.

Well. To make a long story short, surprise, you’re a grandma! Who knew 50 pounds of tofu could even HOLD enough bacterial volume to cohere into a sapient mind-state? Well, now we do, I guess. I should probably have read the culture sachets more carefully, huh.

The science team are thrilled, but the captain is pretty pissed at me, and is threatening to space me to save the air that my accidental offspring will be using over the next couple of decades. I think she’s not serious, but, uh, if you don’t hear from me for a while, wake up my backup and apologize to her/me for losing the long-haul bonus we were counting on, yeah?

Anyway, I’ll try to stay alive long enough to make it home, and maybe I’ll even manage to teach your grandspawn how to talk. I’m not looking forward to trying to explain to it someday that I was actually trying to make cheese, not become a parent. Talk about “The Talk”.

Still, keeps things interesting! I’ll try to have a quieter month coming up.

Love,
Me