In which there is an apocalypse.

• Man, that’s a lot of chains.
• Well, you’re an unlikely flaming chap. But I guess if there are ice giants, there should be fire giants.
• Thor, you’ve been hanging out with Tony Snark too much.
• Oh, you shouldn’t have said that. Keep your special hat secret.
• We approve this music choice.
• Well, Asgard’s standards in gatekeepers have gone all to hell.
• …even by ontotech standards, Mjolnir is hax.
• Don’t think their standards in Viking-inspiring women are doing so well, either.
• Oh, Loki. Evidently you gave up completely on subtlety and subtlety-adjacent things when you kinged yourself.
• Awwww. But you two were so cute! And no Jane means no more Darcy, Best Intern Ever!
• Well, isn’t that… Strange.
• Implication: Asgard also has wizards. Of course, Earth also had wizards all along.
• Loki is having a really bad day.
• And Odin seems to be enjoying his retirement.
• Well, this introduction is going well.
• Mew-mew! Noooo!
• Hm. Bifrost is also a place. Interesting. And one you can be thrown out of mid-transit.
• Well, shit. We’ve seen those guys fight, and so… implications unpleasant.
• Is that… a planet-sized landfill? With wormholes dropping garbage out of the sky? But… but… (economists have meltdown)
• (I mean, I suppose it could be natural, but there had to be something better to use it for.)
• Guessing these folks got landfilled too, at some point.
• A very drunk Asgardian?
• Not bad “going through them” for someone that drunk. “Blowing through them”, one might say.
• And so passes the last of the Warriors Three. (Hm. I wonder where Sif is right now.)
• Ah. So, they have a sideline in slave gladiators. Delightful planet, this Sakaar.
• (Oh, right, where the paper people come from.)
• Of course Loki would turn up there.
• This one is laid back for a gladiator. Insert obligatory stoned pun here.
• One might think slaughtering the entirety of Asgard’s military forces would be something of a self-own for the new queen…
• (And this is why historical revisionism is problematic.)
• …oh. A giant army of the mostly dead. And giant wolf!
• (Awww, puppy.)
• The hammer is his… hammer. Yep. Just his hammer.
• Okay, so if there was this elite force of women warriors, what was that whole deal back in Thor about Sif being one?
• Tough crowd.
• Oh, that’s where you ended up.
• Not sure he likes that name.
• Like he said, god of thunder…
• …puny god of thunder. And Loki gloats, of course…
• …or not. Someone’s feeling their elemental associations today.
• Es. 10 says Heimdall is running the resista —
• — thank you.
• Evidently extended runtime is good for Hulk. And he’s got himself a life now.
• And a robust sense of humor. And, ooh, a statue.
• Ah, Heimdall has an exit. Guess when you can see everything in the universe, you pick up on all the back doors.
• Nice escape. Well, right up until the Quinjet got Hulked, and the Hulk got dehulked.
• Man, how bad must two years worth of Hulk-hangover be.
• “Melt-stick,” seriously?
• The Valkyrie rode pegasai. Okay, let’s revise the mythologae recreation list.
• “You’ve been on a planet before.” Heh.
• And soon it will be three.
• Well, except for Hulkfest Carnivale whatever-local-year-this-is.
• Worst impromptu name ever.
• The “Devil’s Anus”? Apt. And dreadfully entendric.
• You have a terrible job, Grand Master’s chief minion.
• That is a terrible strategy, but that’s a really nice ship.
• That, on the other hand, was a very nice strategy. If a mite dickish.
• …something about a black light…
• That would be a fairly odd thing to have a doctorate in.
• Maybe not a gun, but it’ll do.
• Awwww, puppy.
• One would think they’d have better methods of interrogation on Asgard, but maybe Hela gets her kicks this way.
• A very convenient wormhole, indeed.
• And Thor teaches us all how to do provoke and confront.
• DON’T SHOOT THE — well, okay, guess you have to.
• Well, that wasn’t the plan.
• Just you and your undead slaves, eh, Hela?
• Welp, Loki and an opportunity to be theatrical. Should’ve called it.
• Big-ass lightning bolts speak louder than words.
• This is the best fightin’ music ever.
• Alas, poor Fenris. You deserved a better mistress.
• (But, hell, no-one else even wounded the Hulk. Ever.)
• Even unavoidable sacrifices suck.
• And Skurge of Asgard, at the last, dies well.
• Bloody hell. He wasn’t kidding about being mountain-sized.
• The audience also hates this prophecy. Civilizations should not fall. That is literally the opposite of the proper course of events.
• Hulk is disappoint. Biggest challenge yet.
• Korg, your timing is just the worst.
• Well, won’t Earth be surprised to receive a sudden shipful of Asgardians? (Especially those Asatru whose worldview wasn’t already beaten all to hell in the last few years.)
• …assuming that leaves anyone alive, that is.
• And what’s about to couldn’t happen to a nicer planetary slavemaster.

Straight on with it:

• Well, they don’t look much like pre-stellar ignition creatures, but we’ll roll with it. (Anyway, wouldn’t they be Hot Ones in that case, not Cold Ones?)
• …using a K does not make words extra-special. Just ask the Krell, the K’kree, the Kazon…
• Don’t Seal the Evil in a Can! That trick never works!
• Ah, Loki. Snarking in the face of death.
• …Thor? Have you been listening to your brother?
• THEY HAVE A CAVE TROLL.
• This audience would point out that yes, Odin has a point about relationships between the short-lived and the long. But also that there is a cure for that, and if they haven’t figured it out yet, why the heck not?
• Ah, Darcy, never stop being you.
• Someone’s suffering some aftereffects of being brain-stirred with a scepter, methinks.
• Welp, something’s plaited space-time like a much-used handkerchief. Wacky fun with metric engineering?
• That’s a mite impressive.
• Evidently you can explode more than once.
• Holy shit, indeed. Bifrost is a delightfully showy method of interstellar travel. And your reaction, Jane, is simply adorable. The scientists squee and proclaim you one of their own.
• Yes, “soul forge” is definitely a more poetic name. Our science team agree, although the description of what it does is… odd.
• Rather civilized dungeons, Asgard has.
• Interesting cosmology. One presumes that the Nine Realms are themselves an artificial construct.
• There is perhaps something to be said about what one ought to bring to a battlecruiser fight.
• Given some earlier comments about woman warriors, it’s good to see that the Queen of Asgard is appropriately badass. And tricksy.
• …and dead. Shit.
• A worthy funeral.
• Lecturing the nuthouse. A sorry end for a great mind and someone who got drunk with a god.
• Ah, Loki. You may not be a troll, but you’re definitely a troll.
• Nice flying… for a vehicle you’ve never seen before.
• Hell, a man takes that many pills, no wonder he’s crazy.
• Nidavellir: it’s a miserable place.
• Loki, damn it.
• Let me rephrase that: Damn, Loki!
• Oh, well played with that grenade.
• Is there anyone in this audience who believes that Loki actually just died? Signs point to no.
• You may have found a body, but the audience still doesn’t believe it.
• Given that Mjolnir can lay down the smack on someone wielding the functional equivalent – or actuality – of an Infinity Stone, Asgardian weapons technology is really quite impressive.
• And, hell, where are they gonna run to, anyway? Might as well get a good video on the off-chance the universe survives.
• Welcome to Vanaheim, gentlemen. Hope they have airfields.
• Excellent rising to the occasion, intern’s intern.
• …kinda hope we get to visit Muspellheim sometime. It looks interesting, what we can see through the big ol’ skyhole.
• Rendered ‘armless. Ho, ho, ho.
• …aww, the fighter pilots didn’t get to stay in Vanaheim long enough for any mead. I hear it’s excellent.
• Oh, Loki, you magnificent bastard! (And one wonders what he did with Odin?)
• And he’s back! Good thing too, bilge snipe and all.

Anyway. Perfect movie for this audience – modulo some serious suspending of science disbelief – complete with perfect demi-villain. Couldn’t be better.

Y’all know how this goes by this point in the series, so let’s get right into it…

• I love the smell of science in the evening.
• Ooh, Asgard is shiny! And flat! When did they start filming in our neck of the woods? (Seriously, feels familiar.)
• Oh, that’s what it is. (See previous entry in this series.)
• Impetuous, aren’t you, Thor? Good quality in an adventurer. Less so in a statesman.
• I refer you to the Things You Are Not Allowed To Do List in re appropriate answers to “are you a god?”, lightning or no lightning.
• Okay, when we invent translocation, and in particular interstellar translocation, it needs to look that awesome.
• Yeah, definitely rocking that adventurer attitude.
• …loving the cloak that stays clean even when you fly right through something’s head.
•  You go, science team! Pursue that evidence!
• Well, that’s quite the fuck-you to inertia.
• Yeah, mortality kind of sucks, doesn’t it?
• …Odinsleep really does look kind of like a healing vat.
• A lot of smarts in that hammer. (Meanwhile, someone from the Eye-in-the-Flame Inadvisable Research department is on to their second notepad, over in the corner.)
• Ah, yes, magic and technology. Good answer, Jane.
• Loki, you treacherous weasel! Throne and family in one go, and you still thought Mjolnir might accept you? (Good hammer.)
• Now that was some magnificent bullshit, Dr. Selvig. Shame Coulson bought exactly none of it.
• Also, kudos for the attempt to keep up with a godly liver.
• Ah, so Yggdrasil would be this tech’s version of a stargate constellation.
• Man, Heimdall is good.
• You might want to specify something a little less general than “Destroy everything” to your robot weapons system. Just sayin’.
• This is a terrible plan. Noble, but terrible.
• Yes, actually, that is your god.
• …ooh, a double betrayal. That would have been a good plan if you could have kept Thor off the board. At least until Odin woke back up.
• The many uses of an inertialful hammer.
• Even the Imperial audience would have to feel a mite sorry for Loki in the end, being that cracked in the brain-pan. Not that that would count for a whole lot of mercy, but it might get him some clemency.
• Necessity is, as ever, a bitch. Still, one presumes that having built one once, they can always build another.
• Now that’s an ominous-looking glowy cube. Hey, don’t we have one of those in [REDACTED]?

As for overall: you don’t need to do anything. This one works perfectly.